When I am forced to think, forced to evaluate, forced to look past my own plans and desires, I see what's been around me all the time. In the last few months I have begun to understand the enormous privilege it is to be a husband, a father, a friend. I guess I always knew it was a privilege, but I think I have begun to uncover a deeper sense of what the aforementioned titles actually involve. I have been wrestling with big questions, with little questions, with insecurities about callings, everyday activities, and future plans. I've been asking God some questions...maybe it's more honest to say I have been questioning God in some areas of my life. I think calling it questioning God is more appropriate for a couple of reasons:
1. I think we all question God in areas of our lives at times, whether big or small questions, they are questions all the same.
2. I think we are afraid to call it what it is, and I think it's time we are honest with ourselves at least.
I have written and thought before about a faith that doesn't allow or force questions...that's not a faith that I want. I guess the reason I have been questioning is because I have put myself in a situation, or God has placed me in a situation where instability seems to be the only stable thing around. It forces me to wonder, to question, and inevitably, to dive head first into what is either going to be the ocean of God's grace or the unforgiving, cruel, god-less world we live in. I guess if I had to give a one word title to the stage of life I have been in over the past few months, it would be SALVAGE. In this time, when questioning situations, I have found myself doing different "maker" projects. I've been able to talk it out with God while building with salvaged wood, usually from pallets. It's been a form of therapy where I can get away...kind of like a "Question and Create" time with God. I think the big questions I was asking, were already answered by God long ago. They were nothing new, just honest, desperate questions about life, poverty, death, and hope. I had questions of the theology of the church (man) and what the TRUTH (GOD) actually had to say about it. I questioned the fact that God would always provide what I needed when 29,000 Somali children have died of famine in the last 3 months. That was a big question for me. I felt to say He would take care of me was arrogant, because why would he feed me and not them...I was upset by thinking that this theology of provision was just so EASY...a cop out if you will. I listened to God. I listened to friends. I listened to my wife.
I think I have learned a little bit about life, only a little bit. This particular question may never be answered in my time on this earth to a extent that is satisfactory to me. I'm okay with that. For now. Below are some photos of the things I have created since August. I present to you:
SALVAGE.
An expirement in restoration of soul by creating through materials destined to be discarded...a poetic interpretation of life and the sorts.
{Before}
{After}
{Stecil Spray-Paint on Wall}
{Frame Built From Pallet}
{Pallet Reassembled, Sanded, Painted, Stenciled)
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